Difficulty in writing

Why is it so hard to write? I really need to write, I know that, deep down in my bones! It is driving me nuts, I feel like I just can't find the time to sit, uninterupted and write. I am afraid that I'll get angry with interuptions, and I don't even start to write because of that fear. So I have been allowing fear to control me. Fear of frustration. I am with children from the time I wake till sometimes after I try to go to sleep. Whenever they interupt me, I get upset. As much as I try to teach them about mom's quiet time, they seem to always have something come up, some reason to disrupt me. So I lose my train of thought, and either have to get up and take care of a boy who's fallen in the pond, save a creature one of the cats brought in, or clean up chocolate milk out of the carpet! Lets not forget diapers and potty training! So I know what I need to do to find myself, but I don't know how to find the time. Well, the uninterrupted time. Sooooo I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get angry with the children when they interrupt my train of thought. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be controlled by fear of getting angry. i must try to write no matter what, and not let fear of frustration dictate what I do.

The need to be "liked"

I am beginning to realize the importance of the Like button on facebook. The more likes you have, the more popular you are. Our world has come to people judging eachother's statements, links, and photos with the very simple press of a button. In a second you either like, or you are uninterested.
 I find myself dependent on this like button, and am judging myself by the amount of likes on my posts. Because of this, I have been liking a lot of friends statements more easily, in order to show my respect and appreciation, and to make loved ones feel important.
 I do not feel like I am liked very much, and I am allowing this to get to me. Am I not communicating clearly enough, or is what I am saying really of no interest? What is worse is when people actually complain about my posts, or posts that are generally similar to mine. Is what I am saying really that aggrevating? If so, than why are they reading them? We do have the option to hide the posts.
 The need to respect one's beliefs has been a topic that has stirred up a lot of controversy lately. Respecting a person is completely different than respecting their belief. And what does it mean to respect a belief? Does it mean you must not challenge that belief for fear of damaging the other's ego, because they are so attached to their belief that they do not even know who they are without it?
 So I am left with either posting meaningless stuff about football, or fashion, or I can get the rundown from people who don't like what I have to really say. This "walking on eggshells" feeling is not necessary if people would take responsibility for their own emotions.
 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be dependent on how many likes i get. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become aggrevated with people who blame their emotion on others. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my own emotions on the actions of others.

The Reclusive Shopper

The reclusive shopper is one who feels the need to get out, yet only recludes real actual self. Everyone who shops for more than a basic need is a reclusive shopper. The shopper joins the "contest" of beauty, and fashion. Or the "contest" of who has the best of anything. I am not the shopper, it is my ego who needs to shop. I get bored and allow an ego personality to come out. My ego personality is a "person" who wants to find the perfect clothes, shoes, or makeup. It is "person" who is trying to find a quick fix, a boost to one's "self", but is actually not boosting self , but ego. A "person" who fears not being accepted, and needs to dress self up in a way to find acceptance, and even catch attention to oneself for being fashionable.The ego needs to find clothes that hides it's "flaws" while enhancing it's "best features". It is about being more....more beautiful, more sexy, more stylish, more  interesting than others. It is a competition among other egos. When I allow my ego to make my decisions, I am only suppresing me. By creating a false me, I suppress the real me. A me that has been suppressed for years.
 Like all of us, I had issues with my childhood. I am a petite person, and was made fun of as a child. The other children treated me like I was much younger than I was. I often was called "baby", "tiny tot", "little bit" to name just a few. I was often ignored when I tried to have a conversation with other kids my age. No on wanted to be un-cool, being friends with someone who looked so much younger than them.Being much smaller than most, I couldn't fit in fashionable clothes, so I had a choice to either wear extra baggy clothes that were considered stylish, or "baby" clothes that fit me. That wasn't so cool.
 To further the insult to my ego, I was cheated on by my 1st "lover". That only drove me to try harder to gain acceptance. I now had another reason to worry about my appearance, to keep the attention of my lover. I find myself using this "excuse" today.
 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feal the need to look beautiful and fashionable in order to feel accepted, to look better than others, and to keep the interest of my partner. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be part of the competition. It is competition that seperates. It smothers equality and it smothers who I really am.