Fear of growing old and wrinkly

I forgive myself that I've allowed myself to fear growing old and wrinkly. I forgive myself that I've allowed myself to become dependent on looks. I forgive myself that I've allowed myself to fear my husband leaving me for a younger, less wrinkly woman. I forgive myself that I've allowed myself to fear my partner cheating on me. I forgive myself that I've allowed myself to believe that I am not beautiful/sexy enough to fully satisfy my partner in bed. I forgive myself that I've allowed myself to be dependent on my husband for emotional security and as an indicator of self worth. I forgive myself that I've allowed myself to judge my worth in my husband's eyes to beauty. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to measure worth to beauty. I forgive myself that I've allowed myself to believe that sexual attraction is only in young beautiful, wrinkle-free women. I forgive myself that I've allowed myself to believe that I am past my time of sexual attraction. I forgive myself that I've allowed myself to believe that my husband is less attracted to me because of my wrinkles, sagging skin, and slight plumpness in certain areas that I don't think need to be plump. I forgive myself that I've allowed myself to be jealous of younger women or any woman with great, wrinkle-free skin. I forgive myself that I've allowed myself to feel disgusted with my sagging belly when I don't suck in.

When and as I begin to judge myself based on my looks, or fear getting old and wrinkly, I stop, I breath, bring myself back out of my judgmental mind, and live here in the breath, as life, as equal to all life, pretty and ugly, for there is no pretty or ugly, only personal judgment, and comparison in the mind.

When and as I begin to think thoughts of my husband leaving me for a more attractive, less wrinkly woman, I stop, I breath, and remind myself that looks are not the only reason he is attracted to me, but for our lasting partnership, in helping each other in life. I remind myself that there are many single parents who survive and take care of there children, and I can do it too, if needed. I remind myself that I do not need a partnership to survive, even though it may make things easier, at times, it makes things more difficult too, so there are pro's and con's to both sides, of being single, and being with someone.

Beauty

definition from Dictionary.com – The quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).

I have given the word “beauty” a positive polarity label. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the word “beauty” as positive/good, and within that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge by societies standards of what is beautiful. I realize that life in itself is beautiful because it is what gives us the ability to experience through senses and interact with each other in the physical.

When, as I begin to define “beauty” by societies standards, I stop, I breathe, and instead realize that life itself is beautiful in all it's uniqueness and all it's abilities.

(As a side note, I have improved greatly with how I see life since I have started the DIP. I am no longer fearful and/or disgusted by spiders and roaches, and other little creatures I was previously afraid of, but appreciate them as life, and will save them, instead of kill them.)

Beauty sounded out:

Be......you.....tea

Beauty redefining ideas:

Be you, as your own tea. ( I love tea!) To be like a tea out of being just yourself to savor as a healthful tonic of life : ) Self lived tonic of being. To just... be.... you! Life as is, without pretending or judgment.

Tonic of life being.

*Appreciation of the tonic of life being life, as is, in all varieties of color, shape, form, and uniqueness, without judgment, discrimination or comparison.