Taking it personnaly

Someone commented to me after a vlog I posted that I am anorexic. It began as a question that I answered as 'no, but I may appear to be because of my prominent bone structure and thin skin'. The person then said I definitely was anorexic, and I responded to him that he may want to look into why it is so important to him to label me, that maybe he is obese and feels better to label me as anorexic. He responded that what I said was “a cheap shot”, that I am “anorexic and should just get on with my life”.

I allowed this to bother me, and spoke about it with a friend. She basically said the same thing, so I showed her my fat on my belly. She looked shocked. Then I posted a vlog about judgments and showed my fat belly on it as well, to make my point on false judgments and end the argument.

I read a blog by Sunette about how we hold a specific personal belief about ourselves and when someone argues against it, we take it personaly. This is what I did. I believe myself to be fairly 'healthy'. I was a personal trainer, have loads of knowlede on nutrition and fitness, and am still into exercising and eating 'right sized' portions of healthy fat, complex carbs, veggies and lean protein with every meal. Instead of 3 meals a day, I eat 5 smaller meals throughout the day to keep a well balanced blood sugar level. Exercising and eating healthy have become a lifestyle for me, so I do not feel restricted. I allow myself treats such as chocolate and cookies in moderation. So I feel I have found a good balance that works for me. I am energetic, strong, and have a healthy bodyfat percentage.

What I consider healthy bodyfat is a percentage that has not been proven risky for heart disease, but one that is typical of an active person. (between 18-22% for women) So I see myself as far from anorexic, being that I eat all day long, and believe in eating a good amount so I can grow muscle. If I skip a meal, I have a chance of fainting, (due to hypoglycemia) so I don't dare even leave my house without food. I have taught others the importance of not skipping meals due to slowing the metabolism. So being judged as anorexic could not be any farther from the truth. It just goes against my personal belief of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to 'take personnaly', react in frustration to the statement ''you are anorexic'' – because this statement does not fit into my personal belief of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge the word 'anorexic' with a negative value.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to label the word 'anorexic' as 'bad'/'negative'/'wrong'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seperate myself from the word 'anorexic' through judging the word 'anorexic' as 'bad'/'negative'/'wrong'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto a personal belief of myself, labeling myself as a certain way, as 'healthy', instead of opening myself up as equal to and one with all life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think 'this judgment these people have of me couldn't be farther from the truth - how dare they judge me this way'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought 'this judgment these people have of me couldn't be farther from the truth – how dare they judge me this way', to an emotional experience of disappointment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within an emotional experience of disappointment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an emotional experience of disappointment because I realise that not all people see me the way I see myself, and this is only a judgment I have made for myself about myself in my own head.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be disappointed because I cannot control how others see me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to measure my self worth through another's eyes instead of realising that no one else can measure my self worth but myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that how another sees me does not and can never determine who I am or how valuable I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place self value in outward appearance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place self value in how 'healthy' I or others percieve me to be.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to love myself unconditionally.

When and as I hear another's judgment of me – I stop, I breathe – I do not accept or allow myself to 'take it personnally' by comparing it to my own self judgment. Instead I realise that I have held onto a personal belief of myself, labeling myself as 'healthy', to feed into and protect my ego, which requires approval from others to survive and I realise that the judgment from others I receive does not and cannot determine who I am or how valuable I am, so I stop my dependency on my ego to judge my self worth, and stop seperating myself from others. Instead I embrace others as myself as equal and one, valuing myself as others as who we are as life as all as one as equal.