Being "stood up"

This past Saturday, I hosted a birthday party for my son. One of my friends, who had said she would attend, didn't show up. When I didn't receive any phone call, or message from her, I texted her to ask if she was still coming.With no response in the next few hours, I texted her again to see if she was allright. By the next day, with still no word from her, I texted her yet again but still had no response by the day after.

So here is where the thoughts come up. 'She could have gotten in a car crash and I wouldn't even know'. And then the thought, 'she's probably alright but just didn't bother to call me because she doesn't think I deserve the respect of a phone call or a message'. Okay, so here is my mind cunjuring up these ideas of what may have happened, but the thing is, it is only in my head. I follow the thought's and ether respond in fear or anger. Am I really going to allow this reaction to my own thinking? NO!

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think 'she could have gotten in a car crash', when this is just an idea in my head, that brings unnecessary fear to surface.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect not getting contact from my friend when she said she'd be here with the thought 'she could've gotten in a car crash'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing - not recieveing contact/call from my friend when she said she'd be here – as a trigger point within me, which triggers the thought of 'she could've gotten in a car crash'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought 'she could have gotten in a car crash' to an emotional experience of fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within an emotional experience of fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think 'she's probably alright but just didn't bother to call me because she doesn't think I deserve the respect of a phone call or message'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect- not recieveing contact/phone call from my friend when she said she'd be here to the thought 'she's probably alright but just didn't bother to call me because she doesn't think I deserve the respect of a phone call or message'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing-not recieving contact/phone call from my friend when she said she'd be here –to exist as a trigger point within me which triggers the thought 'she's probably alright but just didn't bother to call me because she doesn't think I deserve the respect of a phone call or message'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire respect from others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the desire for respect from others to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to search for appreciation and self worth from others.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that no one but I can decide and measure my self worth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself connect the thought 'she's probably alright but just didn't bother to call me because she doesn't think I deserve the respect of a phone call or message' to an emotional experience of dissapointment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within an experience of dissapointment.

When I am in a situation where I am waiting for a friend to show up who said she would be here and I don't receive any call or message from her even by two days later, instead of following the thoughts of possibilities in my head, I stop, I breath, I do not allow myself to be in and of the mind, following thoughts and reacting in emotions, and do not allow myself to see myself as how I percieve someone else may view me, but I stand here as the breath, as life, and realise that no one can decide for me my self worth, but myself, and also realise that it is out of my own thoughts that I had created and reacted in fear and I have control to stop the thoughts therefore halting the fear as well.