When it comes to taking responsibility, which entails commitment to daily writing of self forgiveness and practical application to push through abusive physical and /or mental habits, it is so much easier in the moment to slack and stay within the normal daily patterns of self abuse and/or ignorance. Why would someone choose to self abuse? It is simply because we choose to not see it as abuse. Why be ignorant? Because we choose to not see. We have this capability to work through thoughts to an extent where self makes excuses for certain behaviors and thought patterns and pretends to not realize the consequence to come. This thought pattern is commonly known as “live like there is no tomorrow”. It is the quickest way to “forget” about one's problems.
Attempting to forget, and hoping the problems will just go away, even for a moment, is mind-fucking, it is not a solution, but an extension of the time it takes to actually deal with and fix the problems we are experiencing. These problems are still there in the mind and in the world, festering until they are dealt with by self forgiveness and taking actual responsibility to change.
To ignore and to place blame is to accept things for the way they are. Taking responsibility is the only solution to actual change. So I am here to take responsibility, and that starts with self forgiveness. Because one must take control of self by forgiving self and taking a stand for what needs to be done to end all suffering. Where to start? Simple, if it is not best for all life, than some life will suffer, so that will not work. To make sure to end all suffering one must make all decisions based on what is best for all life.
End some suffering by choosing what is best for you and your loved ones and you are still being a selfish, ignorant, abuser, ignoring the sufferers and allowing the abuse. One must end all suffering by pacing the starting point of all decisions on what is best for all life. This starts with self, with daily writing of self forgiveness and practical application. When everyone takes responsibility for self, ending blame, then we have everyone working together to create a better world for everyone. So this is my “start” to my journey of self forgiveness, and taking responsibility to create a world where suffering is only history.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to procrastinate, and pretend to forget about my problems by not taking responsibility with writing self forgiveness and taking action to change.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make excuses to not take action, and to “beLIEve” my excuses to the extent of not allowing myself to take action.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear taking action, from viewing the process as “too big/long”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think “ this process is too long, for I cannot stick it out”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought “this process is too long, I cannot stick it out” to the emotional experience of disappointment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within emotional experience of disappointment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an emotional experience of disappointment because I realize that I am not able to practically complete my process instantly and that it is going to take time and commitment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be disappointed because I don't want to face my reality and put in the time and commitment it takes.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire a quick solution and to forget about my problems and have them magically disappear because I don't want to face reality.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to refuse to face reality, and instead want to escape within forgetting about my problems and the world issues.
When and as I think of an excuse to forget about my responsibility in writing and research, I stop I breathe, I do not accept and allow myself to procrastinate with excuses or follow thoughts of incapability that lead to disappointment. Instead I redirect myself to my responsibility as soon as I get the chance to sit down and write, and I allow myself the freedom of choice of (non-abusive) entertainment after I am finished with my daily writing.
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