Day 8 Journey to Life - "Left Behind"

So I am thinking that this writing every day is difficult to find ample time for, and I want to do it in all self honesty, clarifying my thoughts feelings and emotions and then applying self forgiveness, and writing out the plan for practical self application to follow through with. It took me three days to work on one day's self forgiveness because I had so many points involved that I need to “get to the bottom of”. I see others are “ahead of me” on their 7 year journey to life and I feel left behind, and all I can do is try to keep up. I see other people posting their stuff with nice pictures to make their blogs inviting, yet I don't know how to do that. And now there is this EQUAFE, which is a great idea, but it is going to take me even more time to learn the “ins and outs” of how to purchase, and advertise it. Then there is the leadership chats that I sometimes forget about, and the extra blog assignments that aren't personal but follow a cause or the EQUAFE .

So I have been putting all this together and have allowed myself to feel quite overwhelmed. I occasionally get to the point where I am thinking “I cannot keep up with this”. “But then I think, what is the alternative?”Because I know the alternative of giving up does absolutely no good whatsoever. And I would eventually be right back here, but with even more of a “time loop”, even more of feeling left behind. So here I am, writing about my struggles with writing! All the while my four year old is around attempting to get my attention. I sometimes feel bad for him, because I am absorbed in my work. But at least my older son only has three weeks of school left then they can keep each other company while I stay busy with writing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think “I'm left behind”.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect seeing others' work with pictures and days ahead to the thought “I'm left behind”.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing seeing others' work with pictures and days ahead to exist as a trigger point within me which triggers the thought “I'm left behind”.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to be on the same day in my journey as others who are ahead of me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the desire to be on the same day in my journey as others who are ahead of me to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought “I'm left behind” to an emotional experience of disappointment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within an emotional experience of disappointment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an emotional experience of disappointment because I realize how much determination, consistency, and time it takes to keep up with the seven year journey.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be disappointed because there is no quick way to go about this process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be disappointed because I don't feel like having to work so much.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire a quick easy way of going through this process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself to others by how far along in process they are and with the extra knowledge they have with pictures and advertising EQUAFE.

When and as I see others' writings who are days ahead of me or with pictures and advertisements – I stop - I breathe – I do not accept or allow myself to compare my progress with theirs and make judgment of myself as feeling left behind. Instead – I embrace my place in process as where I need to be in the moment, and place myself here, focusing on what I need to do in my process, and realize that everyone is working at their own pace as every one's process is tailored to themselves. I embrace others as myself as we are all in this together, equal and one.